9.29.2016

When testings become testimonies

Yesterday during personal study time, a verse stuck out to me but I didn't quite fully understand why. David said in Psalm 27:5 "In the time time of trouble, he shall hide me..."  In fact, I had it circled and underlined, not knowing that the verse would become very real to me that night.

It was my first time back singing in the worship team after a 3 year break after giving birth to my son, the team had an hour to practice before service. A new track system set up through the Aviom system, new songs...it was a recipe for disaster.

I sang the first song, off beat. Because I had not mixed the sound well in my aviom, I failed to hear the drummer. So I came in on the wrong time. Then I sang an offeratory song, which was way flat, way off key. Funny thing is, I did not know I sang off key until afterwards. I was in my time of trouble, yet I was just focused on worshiping God that I had no clue. The Lord hid me from my time of trouble. That's what the verse meant! I didn't understand it in the morning, but at night the Lord showed me how He truly is my hiding place. My safe refuge.

I wish I can say I embraced my mess up that night. Unfortunately, the entire opposite happened. I was so disappointed, I just wanted to curl up into a ball and hide. Hide from the people who had witnessed the greatest mess up anyone could do in front of church service.

Many tried to comfort me, and encourage me, but I just couldn't bring myself to get up out of the ground. In the morning, despite objections from my flesh, I sought the Lord. In the Psalm, King David said, "You said seek my face, my heart will say, 'your face I will seek". Upon seeking His face, God's prescence filled me with peace, and joy even after being so disappointed over what happened the night before.

The Lord put in my heart that His love didn't change for me just because I messed up. Even if I didn't mess up, He said He wouldn't have loved me more.

He loves me no matter what.

He hid me in His pavilion, in the secret place God hid me, while in my trouble. He delivered me in the circumstance, and though He didn't deliver me out of the circumstance, I still praise Him.

God called me to praise Him.

Not a flat note, not poor timing will discourage me from worshipping Him. From doing what He's called me to do.

God loves me whether I mess up or not. His love is unchanging. And His love endures until the end.

Wherever you are in your life, however many times you've messed up, know that God loves you, regardless of your mess ups.

He died for your mess ups.

He won't love you less just because of your mess ups, in fact, it's in the mess ups where you will fully understand the extent of God's love for you.

So don't give up when you've messed up.

Get up.

Dust yourself off.

Keep your eyes on the Lord and soak in His prescence in your life. Soak in His love for you. Because He loves you so very, very much.

2.27.2014

Well, hello there!

Wow.  It has been a full year and some months since I have written in this thing! Well, a lot has happened since my last post, and I mean, A LOT.

I will get to the updates as I go along. But for now, here are my thoughts for tonight.

"All scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Tim. 3:16-17

The Word of God is profitable, meaning it yields good results for doctrine (shows me a set of principles a person should live by), for reproof (shows me what I do wrong), for correction (shows me how I should do things right), for instruction in righteousness (shows me how to remain doing things right).

This got me thinking. How do I prepare my children? How can I equip them so that as adults they are able to be good, hard working citizens of this world and the one to come?

Scripture. 

To incorporate more of scripture in our homeschool. I've noticed that we merely scratch the surface in our bible lesson and focus more on the the lessons which have little value or impact on their spiritual lives. 

This verse certainly convicted me tonight, it opened my eyes to the things that still need work in me, as a bible student, and as my childrens' homeschool teacher. 

My prayer tonight is for the Lord to consume me, my thoughts, my very life, so that everything about Christ just overflows and that my kids may see. Lord help me to make learning your word fun, and exciting, by giving me a desire and a love to know You, Your word, Your ways, so that in turn, as I teach them, it becomes fun, and exciting for them. Father show me what I need to do. I need You. I can't do this without You.